Thursday, June 17, 2004


Photos: The verse begins on one door and ends on the next.

Don't let anyone look down on your youth, but set an example in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12

Vacation Bible School ended tonight. It was so popular that word of mouth expanded attendance nightly, and even tonight, the last night, new children came. The pastor didn't stop by on any of the nights to see how it was going.

Afterwards I cleaned up my room and berated myself for forgetting the paint with which to sign my painted border. I went through the closet and took many of the things that were mine, the songbooks I had made and had bound at Kinko's, the decorative borders, the activities books, my CD player. No one seemed to notice I was taking a lot of stuff. I was feeling a little teary, so I'm glad no one noticed. Teary because it is very likely I'll never be back.

It's strange, but those of us who are on the leader’s "hit list" are all very active in the church. We are the ones who are always there and help out in music and children's programs, help run a supervised visitation program for non-custodial parents in the community, organize social activities for the church, run the Clothes Closet for the needy in the community. I'm not saying this because I feel like it makes me any better than anyone else; I just like being able to help out. I know I'm not indispensable (no one is), so there is sure to be someone to fill my spots. It's just strange that he would attack his most faithful workers.

One of my fellow sufferers told me tonight that they feel this man is not acting on emotion, but that he has a plan. I wonder what kind of plan it is. Run the church into the ground? It certainly looks like it. I think he is pathologically addicted to crisis.

© 2008 LDN

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Border painting

Photo: Close-up of a small part of the border painting.

I found the church empty and spent three hours painting leafy vines and little red flowers along approximately 50 feet of border next to the floor. If I had done this ten years ago, I wouldn't have been in such pain. By the last half hour my neck hurt, my eyes were unfocused, and my wrist was aching because of the angle at which I had to hold the paintbrush.

Tomorrow I will return and finish the job, which should take me about an hour. I don't want the entire room to seem engulfed in vines and leaves, so above the window and around two doors and I will write short scripture verses, exactly which is yet to be determined.

This evening the Vacation Bible School leaders seemed to like my border. They called everyone in to look at it. They said, "Why don't you use stamps or a stencil?" I said, "Because I have no luck with those things, and they take three times as long as free-hand painting." I didn't say the other part of my reason, that I like a design that isn't so predictable.

One of my fellow sufferers, knowing I'm finishing the job in a hurry because I'm planning on attending a different church, said, "What if someone just decides to paint it over?"

"Fine with me," I said. "It won't hurt my feelings at all. But I'm quite sure they won't get around to any redecoration for a good long time." Before I painted the borders, that room was so baby blue bare it was depressing. Now it is the only bright and cheery classroom in the church.

I'm going to hide my signature somewhere, and date it. Wonder if it will ever be noticed. . .

© 2008 LDN